GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON, GOOD EVENING!!!

All of us are victims of illusion that puts us down in a hole of never ending darkness. Now, I'm in a crisis, it is the hole that I'm taliking about, I am trying to get out of it and if I stay there a little bit longer will probably destroy me. How I wish I was addicted to alcohol or drugs, for I know that there is a way I can escape it without breaking my heart. I'm talking like this haha, my friends say "nothing's new with you!". The last time I felt this was 6 years ago. That's the only clue about where I am right now. Ok friends, start laughing, call me names! haha YES! to them this is a laughing matter, to me its not..... Everyone knew me as Angelo Franchesco the joke, the clown, the villain who's weapon can destroy your dignity making you the star of his practical jokes..... but look deeper, look at his eyes, look at his soul, he is a wounded animal, a prisoner of his own darkness, he is in pain but manages to smile....

Friends many of you saw me drunk, stoned and sober, many of you say that there's no difference, at any of those state I can still make you laugh. Warren said a couple of weeks ago "GELO SALAMAT HA! ANG SARAP MO TALAGA KAUSAP!!" of course he is sarcastic because I am making fun of him, he's talking to me in a nice way and I answer him back in a very clowny philosophic manner, my answer is very far from the topic. Warren and I are friends (obvious ba??? kitams, pilosopo ako diba??) kidding aside, we belong to the same band. This is the first time I experienced a very close bond with a bass player. We have the same way of thinking and we are branded as plastic, sarcastic and fashion oriented rock 'n' rollers. Now I would like to brand us as the Plastic Souls and Masters of Sarcasm and Fashionistic Fools in the band. We are not really plastic people, we're just making fun i.e. a friend is bragging some things on his life, we just look at each other and smile or laugh or try to sympathize if a friend feels to bad, we just enjoy a friend's demise or make fun of his highest moments. We are not bad people, we just enjoy ourselves that can be so obvious to the victim, leaving him in a state where all he can do is to pretend that he doesn't know what we are doing. I laugh and I enjoy but when you look deeper, that's why I am enjoying like this it is because I have a serious problem, I am empty. Do I hate myself? NO! of course not, WHY NOT??? I myself is a victim of my own practical jokes.... I consider my self as a victim, a very thankful victim, I'm not crazy, and I’m just a funny human being, a great pretender. AND AS AN ENDING TO THIS NON SENSE BLOG, THESE ARE MY PARTING WORDS:

LIFE IS A GAME AND IT IS NOT A TOY, LIFE IS A PARTY AND THIS IS HOW YOU SPELL LIFE.....L O V E..... OK? REMEMBER THAT!

Sometimes, we ask ourselves about where is this life leading us. For me, I see life as a crossroad, an intersection, where you can find a lot of places to go to, a lot of ways that will make you feel unsure. In the words of Paul McCartney:

"Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried, Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried, but still they lead me back to the LONG AND WINDING ROAD"

Another term I use other than the crossroad. According to him:

"It's rather a sad song. I like writing sad songs, it's a good bag to get into because you can actually acknowledge some deeper feelings of your own and put them in it. It's a good vehicle, it saves having to go to a psychiatrist ... It's a sad song because it's all about the unattainable; the
door you never quite reach. This is the road that you never get to the end
of..."

Life is a journey and in the song though, not my favorite, because it is a very sad song, I feel that Paul relates it to his struggles in life as a beatle, they think that the fame and fortune that they got which involved a lot of hard work took the smallest things in their lives like going out with
no one recognizing them, riding on a bus, the problems of the unexpected collapse of the Beatles and his life as a human being, like many of us, finding answers to our problems but sometimes the solution is not enough, it takes us to another problem leaving us in a state where we can't find ourselves, turning you to a zombie, a NOWHERE MAN.

Ok, I know, I sound too much like my influences, I am a Beatles Fan and I can't stop myself from being one, they wrote the soundtrack of many people's lives. So, what am I really pointing out? I myself is taking the long and winding road, alone and unsure and there are many things I complain about instead of being grateful, a normal problem that a man faces the lack of contentment. I always complain when my dad is angry at me telling me that I have no future for the reason that my parents disapproved my choice to take up music. Ok, If they allowed me, life for me will probably easy because in normal human instinct when you're good at something, success will be easy. Like what I've said, I followed them and finished BSBA Major in Computer
Applications in Saint Benilde. I always answer back to my father for he complains a lot for what happened to me, but I think, if I am going to be born again, I'll choose my life now than take up music, why??, because there at CSB, I met people who changed my life and made me happy during the boring hours, I learned a lot from them and even fell madly in love to one lady. Now, if I chose music, how in the world can I meet those people and this young lady???, she inspires me a lot from the day we met up to now, and though now she's one of my crossroads, I should be thankful whether I am waiting for something special between us or wait in vain forever and cry, I am still thankful that we met because she contributed a lot to who I am now.


Why complain???? Count the blessings that came ok?? :)


-Angelo Franchesco